Inner Confusion

If you swear all the time the meaning will be lost
If you shout all the time the sound becomes hollow
If you have the need to control others
Then you cannot control yourself
Then you have to continue to forget
Then you must point away to divert others
from that which you think of as your faults
And you seek others to swear, shout and point with
From the security of a mutual perspective
Increasingly running away from yourself

How gray this world must be
When your eyes glimmer hysterically
voice dripping with contempt
When you are unable to laugh at yourself
and put something else in your place
When your self esteem comes from others
When you don't have an original thought of your own
But rather a kind of religion
in common denial

You might achieve power, gain money or honor
and the best of the mediocre
but will always stand in the same place mentally

I would rather die living than be living dead
Better to live a day and understand something
than spend an entire lifetimes being an idiot

Written 10th August 2009